Another Christmas is almost upon us. Shopping, what little of it there was this year, is finished. A small tinsel tree has been decorated along with a potted live tree that my daughter gave to me. I have made many types of cookies and will try to get to a few more before Wednesday if I can. We even had snow - lots of snow - this year.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love Christmas. I decorate like a lunatic on a day pass, bake like a maniac and listen to Christmas music for months on end. This year though I am not feeling it at all.
It could have something to do with the fact that I have been sick this year, really and truly sick and this month I have reached new depths in how truly rotten I could feel. It got so bad that on Friday night, actually early Saturday morning, I took myself into the ER to get an IV. I also have had 6 seizures in the last week and I am exhausted.
I am hoping that just by letting this out I will move past it and start to feel better. I am planning on a nice Christmas Eve dinner and midnight Church service - I just have to build my strength.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Remembering and Christmas Cookies
It all began with a cookie. Years ago my father's second wife made cookies that had hazelnuts and eggwhites and were topped with a cherry. I loved them but never got the recipe. Years went by and I didn't think much about them - remembered them occasionally. This year I can't forget them and decided that I would go looking for the recipe online.
I started with Google and pulled up all hazelnut cookie recipes. I visited AllRecipes.com, Epicurious, and Betty Crocker looking for the recipe. No luck. I stumbled upon the Hazelnut Board and there was a recipe that looked like it might be the one. I copied it and went to the kitchen to immediately make them. I was so excited.
The first batch had too many hazelnuts and baked until they were crisp. The second batch I added an extra egg white and used less hazelnuts - good but not exactly what I remember. The third batch is in the oven now - extra egg white, less hazelnuts, almond extract and vanilla extract, baked for less time.
I may never get the exact recipe for these but I think I can come pretty close to what I remember and that will make me happy. I wish that I had Barbara here to share them with though.
I started with Google and pulled up all hazelnut cookie recipes. I visited AllRecipes.com, Epicurious, and Betty Crocker looking for the recipe. No luck. I stumbled upon the Hazelnut Board and there was a recipe that looked like it might be the one. I copied it and went to the kitchen to immediately make them. I was so excited.
The first batch had too many hazelnuts and baked until they were crisp. The second batch I added an extra egg white and used less hazelnuts - good but not exactly what I remember. The third batch is in the oven now - extra egg white, less hazelnuts, almond extract and vanilla extract, baked for less time.
I may never get the exact recipe for these but I think I can come pretty close to what I remember and that will make me happy. I wish that I had Barbara here to share them with though.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Health, Health Insurance and Waiting Games
Sitting here today worrying about things that I cannot change - what a useless waste of time but still I cannot stop myself. It seems evident that I am probably without health insurance for the first time in 15 years. Of course my health is such that being without insurance is a precarious position to be in so I am scared.
I do happen to live in a state that mandates that all citizens carry health insurance and I think I finally found a plan that has my doctor on it so if I need to I will have to find a way to get an extra $650 a month to pay for it.
Meanwhile in a rotten economy my dh struggles to find employment. We are hopeful that this last round of interviews are now going to bear fruit but don't want to jinx it so try not to assume. Sure would be nice to have this worry erased.
I am in still AZ - flying home on Thursday. I am tired, running a fever and ready to be home with Lulu. It's harder and harder to travel - both physically and emotionally. I have all the usual health problems while I am here - those never change but now have the baseball in the armpit gland again too. It's enough.
I do happen to live in a state that mandates that all citizens carry health insurance and I think I finally found a plan that has my doctor on it so if I need to I will have to find a way to get an extra $650 a month to pay for it.
Meanwhile in a rotten economy my dh struggles to find employment. We are hopeful that this last round of interviews are now going to bear fruit but don't want to jinx it so try not to assume. Sure would be nice to have this worry erased.
I am in still AZ - flying home on Thursday. I am tired, running a fever and ready to be home with Lulu. It's harder and harder to travel - both physically and emotionally. I have all the usual health problems while I am here - those never change but now have the baseball in the armpit gland again too. It's enough.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Sitting in AZ
Another visit to Arizona - a few days to go until I return home. I wish I was able to enjoy this visit more than I am but there is so much going on in my life that I cannot relax. Sleeping has been terrible and I am on pain meds just to get through the days now. I have been eating well atleast and this morning was able to eat a nice bowl of cream of wheat. Tonight will be dinner out for a steak.
A few days ago we were driving through Zion National Park and Dixie National Forest. We stayed overnight in Cedar City, Utah where it was 30* and snowing - my favorite weather. I am glad that I got to see Utah and the mountains but I think I am now ready to go home.
A few days ago we were driving through Zion National Park and Dixie National Forest. We stayed overnight in Cedar City, Utah where it was 30* and snowing - my favorite weather. I am glad that I got to see Utah and the mountains but I think I am now ready to go home.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Local Strawberries, Summer and Random Thoughts
The local strawberries have been in at our local WFM. I have a hard time eating strawberries but cannot resist when the local wild strawberries come in. Twice in the past week I have brought home quarts of the little jewel-like berries. One night I whipped up homemade biscuits, vanilla whipped cream and macerated the strawberries with a little sugar and a drop of balsamic vinegar. That was dinner that night.
I love when summer gets to the East Coast but not the flipping humidity that we have had lately. I look forward every year to the farmer's markets for easy dinners and this weekend I managed to get a patio set for the deck which I spent yesterday putting together. Of course today it is raining with heavy humidity here so not a day for deck sitting. I am looking forward to the weather breaking and the many days ahead.
My health has been rough the past two weeks. I am pretty dehydrated and not doing so well so it's a good day to be indoors. Thank god for Netflix and library books.
Since I tend to get discouraged when I am really sick I am thinking about these lyrics today:
There will always be stars in the wind
Little lines on your face when you grin
When it looks like you've done it again
And you just don't know where to begin
There will always be something to believe in
Hope your part of the world is alittle brighter than mine...
I love when summer gets to the East Coast but not the flipping humidity that we have had lately. I look forward every year to the farmer's markets for easy dinners and this weekend I managed to get a patio set for the deck which I spent yesterday putting together. Of course today it is raining with heavy humidity here so not a day for deck sitting. I am looking forward to the weather breaking and the many days ahead.
My health has been rough the past two weeks. I am pretty dehydrated and not doing so well so it's a good day to be indoors. Thank god for Netflix and library books.
Since I tend to get discouraged when I am really sick I am thinking about these lyrics today:
There will always be stars in the wind
Little lines on your face when you grin
When it looks like you've done it again
And you just don't know where to begin
There will always be something to believe in
Hope your part of the world is alittle brighter than mine...
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Seventh Circle of Hell
Here's a typical day in Megland:
Get up, make coffee, change clothes 14 times until you wind up looking like an out of work crack addict. Check the bus schedule and pick the bus you need to be on to make your appointment. Leave the house for the bus in the pouring rain. Soaked completely through you remember that your cell phone, which you most definitely will need today, is upstairs in the house. Go back to get it, miss the bus. Call the town cab company, wait for cab.
Oh wait - a brief respite when a friend calls to chat.
Cab comes and off you go. Get to T station, miss the train. Wait in the rain for the next one. Make it downtown just in time for the really heavy rain to hit so run over to your destination - getting soaked again. Wait around while the person you need to help you is goofing off - finally get what you came there for and leave for your appointment. No good way to get there so down in the rain you go - dripping wet and freezing cold at this point.
You're early so you get a cup of coffee and because your weight will be checked and you haven't eaten solid food in days you get a muffin which you eat only the top off of. Go to your appointment where they check your weight and your b/p - both are elevated. Doctor says you must be doing better your weight is up today and you think "no it's up because i am retaining water like the Grand Coolie Dam" but you let it go because why argue the point.... Get prescribed some new medication, have a discussion about mood and finally get out of there. Stop for monthly b12 injection on the way out - thank god that's over with for another month.
Walk in the rain back up the street to meet daughter and husband, buy dinner, get prescription filled, pick out library books. Cram onto the rush hour train with bags, once again dripping wet and miserable.
Finally make it home, get dinner going and feel glad that you made it through the day.
Until you go in the bathroom and realize that the one medication that you needed to get the refill for from your doctor is the one you didn't get.....
Get up, make coffee, change clothes 14 times until you wind up looking like an out of work crack addict. Check the bus schedule and pick the bus you need to be on to make your appointment. Leave the house for the bus in the pouring rain. Soaked completely through you remember that your cell phone, which you most definitely will need today, is upstairs in the house. Go back to get it, miss the bus. Call the town cab company, wait for cab.
Oh wait - a brief respite when a friend calls to chat.
Cab comes and off you go. Get to T station, miss the train. Wait in the rain for the next one. Make it downtown just in time for the really heavy rain to hit so run over to your destination - getting soaked again. Wait around while the person you need to help you is goofing off - finally get what you came there for and leave for your appointment. No good way to get there so down in the rain you go - dripping wet and freezing cold at this point.
You're early so you get a cup of coffee and because your weight will be checked and you haven't eaten solid food in days you get a muffin which you eat only the top off of. Go to your appointment where they check your weight and your b/p - both are elevated. Doctor says you must be doing better your weight is up today and you think "no it's up because i am retaining water like the Grand Coolie Dam" but you let it go because why argue the point.... Get prescribed some new medication, have a discussion about mood and finally get out of there. Stop for monthly b12 injection on the way out - thank god that's over with for another month.
Walk in the rain back up the street to meet daughter and husband, buy dinner, get prescription filled, pick out library books. Cram onto the rush hour train with bags, once again dripping wet and miserable.
Finally make it home, get dinner going and feel glad that you made it through the day.
Until you go in the bathroom and realize that the one medication that you needed to get the refill for from your doctor is the one you didn't get.....
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Sunny Summer Day
Just finished reading a great book - Julie and Julia about a woman who spends a year cooking every single recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking and blogging about it. It has aroused in me a desire to spend more time cooking at a time when our apartment becomes an inferno.
Today it's 80 degrees out and I have the a/c on for the first time. I didn't spend any time out on the deck this morning as I like to do choosing instead to read and listen to smooth jazz. It's been a great day for just rocking and reading.
Now I find myself with my mother's battered copy of Mastering The Art of French Cooking wondering if I should begin to cook from it myself. I love to cook, it calms and soothes me like nothing else can and french cuisine is comfort food. I know that I won't cook all the recipes (there are some things I just will not eat even though I am a hard core foodie) and I probably will go at it in my own manner and time but I think I could find some peace in spending the summer with some great food and wine.
Today it's 80 degrees out and I have the a/c on for the first time. I didn't spend any time out on the deck this morning as I like to do choosing instead to read and listen to smooth jazz. It's been a great day for just rocking and reading.
Now I find myself with my mother's battered copy of Mastering The Art of French Cooking wondering if I should begin to cook from it myself. I love to cook, it calms and soothes me like nothing else can and french cuisine is comfort food. I know that I won't cook all the recipes (there are some things I just will not eat even though I am a hard core foodie) and I probably will go at it in my own manner and time but I think I could find some peace in spending the summer with some great food and wine.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Another Sunday - First of June
Last year at this time I was in Phoenix staying with friends. This year I am staying put here by the ocean and remembering a friend who has passed away.
What has changed this year?
Some things are different now - I am older, weaker but many good things stay the same - great place to live, many friends, family.
Today was a bright sunny day and I spent it out on the deck. I tanned, drank way too much iced coffee and relaxed. I read the paper for awhile but I find the news depresses me so I don't read very much. I am reading a book called Julie and Julia about a woman who spends a year cooking every recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I am enjoying this book.
Tonight I mixed up some shrimp salad that I stuffed into grilled hot dog rolls and cut up fresh strawberries that I ate with a slice of ricotta pie. The ricotta pie was my birthday cake this year.
A good day - I don't get many of these but today I will keep.
What has changed this year?
Some things are different now - I am older, weaker but many good things stay the same - great place to live, many friends, family.
Today was a bright sunny day and I spent it out on the deck. I tanned, drank way too much iced coffee and relaxed. I read the paper for awhile but I find the news depresses me so I don't read very much. I am reading a book called Julie and Julia about a woman who spends a year cooking every recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I am enjoying this book.
Tonight I mixed up some shrimp salad that I stuffed into grilled hot dog rolls and cut up fresh strawberries that I ate with a slice of ricotta pie. The ricotta pie was my birthday cake this year.
A good day - I don't get many of these but today I will keep.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Sick Far From Home
I am sick again and it's hard doing this so far from home. Started with a kidney infection and fever a week ago. I started antibiotics and the fever continues to rise.
It's really hard being a guest in someone's home feeling like this and trying to be sociable.
I wish I could just ball up in bed and sleep until this passes.
It's really hard being a guest in someone's home feeling like this and trying to be sociable.
I wish I could just ball up in bed and sleep until this passes.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Back in Phoenix
Back in Phoenix - Home from Hawaii. I had intended to post here from the ship but the internet was so awful that I was unable to do this.
The weather on the way to Hawaii was cloudy and cold. I spent alot of time in sweatshirt, socks and sitting out on the balcony wrapped in a blanket looking at the night sky. The stars while out at sea are the greatest thing in the world. I enjoyed the time out at sea.
We arrived in Hilo to sunny skies and warmth. I had a tour scheduled in the afternoon so I spent the time after arriving heading over to WalMart to get a few supplies (sunblock) and stopped briefly in a Hilo Hatties. Then I went on a tour of the island and to visit the Hawaiian Botanical Garden. This was an amazing way to spend the afternoon - climbing trails around waterfalls, orchids. I saw a mongoose, some macaws in an aviary and the most spectacular ocean view with a black sand beach. Just fantastic. I also saw the Liliuokalani Garden which is the largest Japanese Garden outside of Tokyo.
The next day was Kona and I spent the day in town, taking it slower and easier. I bought coffee and talked to Marty on the payphone for a long time. This is the island where I discovered that I really like Honey Roasted Macadamia Nuts and after going back to the ship to eat I got off again to buy more.
Wednesday we arrived in Kauai and I met Amy's sister Cathy who took us to an amazing place for breakfast. I had coconut pineapple pancakes with coconut syrup that I am still thinking about. After breakfast we drove up the coast and spent some time at a surfer's beach where I stood in the breaking waves - well away from any of the surfers. It was a great experience.
Thursday we arrived in Honolulu where I met Amy's other sister Melissa and her husband Geoff. Steve rented a car and after picking that up we headed to Chinatown for dim sum and some shopping. Afterwards we visited with Amy's family and headed out to dinner at the Outrigger Canoe Club in Waikiki. An amazing sunset and fabulous dinner of mahi-mahi - then it was time to head back to the ship. On the way I saw the Supreme Court and statue of King Kamemeha.
Friday was a beach day spent at Kaanapali Beach in Maui and some shopping for the necessary Elvis memorabilia for Miss E. I bought more coffee, more nuts and a dress. I took a shuttle to and from the beach and got a mini tour of the island by doing this. This was by far my favorite day.
There were 5 at sea days both ways and I spent the time by reading and watching some great movies. I ate alot but still managed not to gain any weight - even though I really tried. I enjoyed having a balcony for sailaways and night sky watching. I spent time in the Spa and the Casino (had alot of fun and some winnings).
It was an amazing trip and I have begun saving already to get there with Marty. It's going to take a few years but God Willing we will go together.
The weather on the way to Hawaii was cloudy and cold. I spent alot of time in sweatshirt, socks and sitting out on the balcony wrapped in a blanket looking at the night sky. The stars while out at sea are the greatest thing in the world. I enjoyed the time out at sea.
We arrived in Hilo to sunny skies and warmth. I had a tour scheduled in the afternoon so I spent the time after arriving heading over to WalMart to get a few supplies (sunblock) and stopped briefly in a Hilo Hatties. Then I went on a tour of the island and to visit the Hawaiian Botanical Garden. This was an amazing way to spend the afternoon - climbing trails around waterfalls, orchids. I saw a mongoose, some macaws in an aviary and the most spectacular ocean view with a black sand beach. Just fantastic. I also saw the Liliuokalani Garden which is the largest Japanese Garden outside of Tokyo.
The next day was Kona and I spent the day in town, taking it slower and easier. I bought coffee and talked to Marty on the payphone for a long time. This is the island where I discovered that I really like Honey Roasted Macadamia Nuts and after going back to the ship to eat I got off again to buy more.
Wednesday we arrived in Kauai and I met Amy's sister Cathy who took us to an amazing place for breakfast. I had coconut pineapple pancakes with coconut syrup that I am still thinking about. After breakfast we drove up the coast and spent some time at a surfer's beach where I stood in the breaking waves - well away from any of the surfers. It was a great experience.
Thursday we arrived in Honolulu where I met Amy's other sister Melissa and her husband Geoff. Steve rented a car and after picking that up we headed to Chinatown for dim sum and some shopping. Afterwards we visited with Amy's family and headed out to dinner at the Outrigger Canoe Club in Waikiki. An amazing sunset and fabulous dinner of mahi-mahi - then it was time to head back to the ship. On the way I saw the Supreme Court and statue of King Kamemeha.
Friday was a beach day spent at Kaanapali Beach in Maui and some shopping for the necessary Elvis memorabilia for Miss E. I bought more coffee, more nuts and a dress. I took a shuttle to and from the beach and got a mini tour of the island by doing this. This was by far my favorite day.
There were 5 at sea days both ways and I spent the time by reading and watching some great movies. I ate alot but still managed not to gain any weight - even though I really tried. I enjoyed having a balcony for sailaways and night sky watching. I spent time in the Spa and the Casino (had alot of fun and some winnings).
It was an amazing trip and I have begun saving already to get there with Marty. It's going to take a few years but God Willing we will go together.
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