One Week to go and I'll be Older

A beautiful warm day today - lots of time on deck with ocean waves, seagulls and my thoughts. On Sunday I turn 47 and 2 weeks after that I am in surgery for my thumb - need to remember to put cab fare aside from my monthly check and make sure Marty has the day off.

Bought a Wii and tomorrow I will go to the post office to pick it up, come home and set it up. It's going to be close to 90* and humid tomorrow so I will have the a/c on but cannot wait to try to do some yoga on the Wii fit.

My life is the same as always - quiet, some days are difficult but that's okay. I am really looking forward to the farmer's markets this summer, lots of seafood, sangria and veggies on the deck while reading, listening to the ipod and goofing off with the Wii.

If we can we are going to head out to Texas in August to see E and then up to Vegas for a few days. I really hope we can do this trip as I am antsy lately for travel.

Happy Easter Sunday

Another beautiful day, 70's, windows are open. Coconut custard pie is cooling, two batches of iced tea - regular black tea and agua de jamaica and a nice boneless leg of lamb ready to slip into the oven tonight, coated with rosemary, garlic, lemon, olive oil and surrounded by potatoes. Beautiful green broccolini on the side.

Red Sox Home Opener tonight and the dvr is set to tape it so we can zip past the ads. Here's hoping they win.

A pile of books waiting to be read - That Old Cape Magic by Richard Russo, An Omelette and a Glass of Wine by Elizabeth David, a few other lighter reads. I am looking forward to some afternoons spent with tea and a book on the deck - warmer days ahead.

New meds, blood tests, dr appointments and hand surgery are also in my life right now.

Spring Time

Warm Sunny Days lately - windows are opened, house is getting it's spring cleaning and I am happy to see the sun every day - just wish I could sleep at night.

Getting ready for Farmer's Markets to open again for the season. Need to get some fresh fruits and veg into me and I am tired of the usual suspects that we get in the winter in New England - carrots, parsnips, potatoes, squash, apples. I want artichokes, asparagus, bok choy, berries - blackberries, strawberries, wild blueberries and lately I am craving mango so I will be steaming some artichokes tonight and making a mango puree for greek yogurt/granola parfaits. Brown sugar rubbed salmon with steamed asparagus and quinoa...Lots of lemon is in order as well - lemon curd cakes, zest and juice added to dishes. And I am going to continue enjoying my ruby red grapefruit for as long as I can get them....

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

It was really warm today - 74* here and I had the windows open all day, big bowl of candy even though we get no trick or treaters here and my ipod on. I spent two hours with QVC on, listening to music, eating candy and playing a game on my laptop. Nice quiet day which is a good thing given that I have no voice and no one home to spend time with today.

I am heading outside to see the little kids walk by all dressed up in their costumes. The little ones go into town and do their trick or treating at the businesses. It's one of the things I love about this town.

My daughter and I carved pumpkins this year to get in the spirit and I think they came out good - mine is above. It was easy and I really enjoyed doing it. I am planning on lighting the candles in them tonight.

Hope where you are there are cute kids and candy, nice weather and love.

Apples

Here in New England in the Fall apples become abundantly available. They are sold in tote bags for very little money and it is one of the things I look forward to every year. For me it's like rediscovering an old friend and I spend weeks discovering all the ways that I love apples.

Today it's a large pan of apple crisp made because I don't feel well and the thought of it fills me with comfort. I will use my apples on hand, toss them in sugar, cinnamon, zest of lemon and top with lots of flour, sugar, butter, cinnamon, ground flaxseed and nuts. When it comes out of the oven I will eat large bowls of it topped with a little light cream drizzled on it.

Perfect food in my book today.

WiFi and Back

I finally am on a wireless connection with a brand new laptop! I bought the laptop that made me the happiest and have been enjoying having it.

I had a fairly uneventful summer - not much time on the deck in the sun due to migraines and health issues. I ate much lobster (even though I shouldn't due to an allergy) and spent time with family and friends.

In the fall I paid off some debts and was able to book a cruise for my dh who works too hard. I went out to visit my friends in AZ, went to Las Vegas for a few days. I was in a car accident 2 days before we left for the cruise which made the travel harder.

Now I am home, pain is much less and I have been cleaning/organizing the house. Getting ready for the holidays and winter.

Our next trip is to Hawaii in January.

Hot Days, Fevers and Hip Pain

It's been a difficult week for me. I am out where the sun shines and temperatures rise during the day and I have a fever with some fairly uncomfortable hip pain. I have been trying to do some bodywork to help with the hip pain but it continues to ache.

This morning I took a shower and went outside to sit in the sunshine while my hair dried. It was very hot and I was only able to sit there for a short amount of time. I did get some mail written to friends back home and wrote in my journal which was nice.

Now I am ready for my fever to abate and to lose the hip pain.

Epic Dinner with Friends Last Night

Those of you who know me know that food is both my love and my enemy - I am a "foodie" in every sense of the word and even though I suffer for my love I am a faithful to it. Last night I had a meal that I will remember for every day of my life and I don't know if it will ever be surpassed.

It was a beautiful sunny day and my friends were celebrating their wedding anniversary by going out to dinner at a wonderful steakhouse where they are friends with the Executive Chef. I and another couple joined them for dinner and the Chef decided to do a few special dishes for the table.

We started with appetizers - the ladies had oysters - blue point, fanny bays and gulf. The blue points were my favorite and were wonderful, cold and briny. The gentlemen had large shrimp cocktails and the table shared a large crab cake with remoulade that was killer. The soup and salad course was lobster bisques and a large lump crabmeat, shrimp, avocado, orange segments, dates and almond over mixed green salad. The ladies all had wine - two had a wonderful Rodney Strong Merlot and one had a Davinci Chianti. The entrees were next and OMG this is where the Chef really did his best - A jumbo 5lb crabmeat stuffed lobster, a 7 bone veal prime rib roast with a morel port wine reduction! Also a dry aged filet and a lovely parmesan crusted dover sole with a lemon beurre blanc. Sides (which were just overkill) were parsley buttered potatoes and potato & gruyere fritters. We were all moaning at this point but the Chef then delivered his coup de grace - coconut macaroons made with freshly grated coconut and fresh coffee.

This meal lasted for 3 hours, filled with good conversation and good friends. I will never forget it and even though I could not keep up and didn't eat much I loved every single moment.

good lord where does the time go???

End of April and I realize that I haven't been here in months. Mostly it's because I have an awful PC at home and because I have not felt human for much of this time. Depressing fact but there it is.

Weather finally turning on the East Coast and I am getting ready to open the deck for the summer. That will cheer me because I love sitting out there in the sun and watching the ocean. It also gets me out of the house more - even if it's only 100 yards!

Christmas, Hospitals and Rambling Thoughts

Another Christmas is almost upon us. Shopping, what little of it there was this year, is finished. A small tinsel tree has been decorated along with a potted live tree that my daughter gave to me. I have made many types of cookies and will try to get to a few more before Wednesday if I can. We even had snow - lots of snow - this year.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Christmas. I decorate like a lunatic on a day pass, bake like a maniac and listen to Christmas music for months on end. This year though I am not feeling it at all.

It could have something to do with the fact that I have been sick this year, really and truly sick and this month I have reached new depths in how truly rotten I could feel. It got so bad that on Friday night, actually early Saturday morning, I took myself into the ER to get an IV. I also have had 6 seizures in the last week and I am exhausted.

I am hoping that just by letting this out I will move past it and start to feel better. I am planning on a nice Christmas Eve dinner and midnight Church service - I just have to build my strength.

Remembering and Christmas Cookies

It all began with a cookie. Years ago my father's second wife made cookies that had hazelnuts and eggwhites and were topped with a cherry. I loved them but never got the recipe. Years went by and I didn't think much about them - remembered them occasionally. This year I can't forget them and decided that I would go looking for the recipe online.

I started with Google and pulled up all hazelnut cookie recipes. I visited AllRecipes.com, Epicurious, and Betty Crocker looking for the recipe. No luck. I stumbled upon the Hazelnut Board and there was a recipe that looked like it might be the one. I copied it and went to the kitchen to immediately make them. I was so excited.

The first batch had too many hazelnuts and baked until they were crisp. The second batch I added an extra egg white and used less hazelnuts - good but not exactly what I remember. The third batch is in the oven now - extra egg white, less hazelnuts, almond extract and vanilla extract, baked for less time.

I may never get the exact recipe for these but I think I can come pretty close to what I remember and that will make me happy. I wish that I had Barbara here to share them with though.

Health, Health Insurance and Waiting Games

Sitting here today worrying about things that I cannot change - what a useless waste of time but still I cannot stop myself. It seems evident that I am probably without health insurance for the first time in 15 years. Of course my health is such that being without insurance is a precarious position to be in so I am scared.

I do happen to live in a state that mandates that all citizens carry health insurance and I think I finally found a plan that has my doctor on it so if I need to I will have to find a way to get an extra $650 a month to pay for it.

Meanwhile in a rotten economy my dh struggles to find employment. We are hopeful that this last round of interviews are now going to bear fruit but don't want to jinx it so try not to assume. Sure would be nice to have this worry erased.

I am in still AZ - flying home on Thursday. I am tired, running a fever and ready to be home with Lulu. It's harder and harder to travel - both physically and emotionally. I have all the usual health problems while I am here - those never change but now have the baseball in the armpit gland again too. It's enough.

Sitting in AZ

Another visit to Arizona - a few days to go until I return home. I wish I was able to enjoy this visit more than I am but there is so much going on in my life that I cannot relax. Sleeping has been terrible and I am on pain meds just to get through the days now. I have been eating well atleast and this morning was able to eat a nice bowl of cream of wheat. Tonight will be dinner out for a steak.

A few days ago we were driving through Zion National Park and Dixie National Forest. We stayed overnight in Cedar City, Utah where it was 30* and snowing - my favorite weather. I am glad that I got to see Utah and the mountains but I think I am now ready to go home.

Local Strawberries, Summer and Random Thoughts

The local strawberries have been in at our local WFM. I have a hard time eating strawberries but cannot resist when the local wild strawberries come in. Twice in the past week I have brought home quarts of the little jewel-like berries. One night I whipped up homemade biscuits, vanilla whipped cream and macerated the strawberries with a little sugar and a drop of balsamic vinegar. That was dinner that night.

I love when summer gets to the East Coast but not the flipping humidity that we have had lately. I look forward every year to the farmer's markets for easy dinners and this weekend I managed to get a patio set for the deck which I spent yesterday putting together. Of course today it is raining with heavy humidity here so not a day for deck sitting. I am looking forward to the weather breaking and the many days ahead.

My health has been rough the past two weeks. I am pretty dehydrated and not doing so well so it's a good day to be indoors. Thank god for Netflix and library books.

Since I tend to get discouraged when I am really sick I am thinking about these lyrics today:

There will always be stars in the wind
Little lines on your face when you grin
When it looks like you've done it again
And you just don't know where to begin
There will always be something to believe in

Hope your part of the world is alittle brighter than mine...

Seventh Circle of Hell

Here's a typical day in Megland:

Get up, make coffee, change clothes 14 times until you wind up looking like an out of work crack addict. Check the bus schedule and pick the bus you need to be on to make your appointment. Leave the house for the bus in the pouring rain. Soaked completely through you remember that your cell phone, which you most definitely will need today, is upstairs in the house. Go back to get it, miss the bus. Call the town cab company, wait for cab.

Oh wait - a brief respite when a friend calls to chat.

Cab comes and off you go. Get to T station, miss the train. Wait in the rain for the next one. Make it downtown just in time for the really heavy rain to hit so run over to your destination - getting soaked again. Wait around while the person you need to help you is goofing off - finally get what you came there for and leave for your appointment. No good way to get there so down in the rain you go - dripping wet and freezing cold at this point.

You're early so you get a cup of coffee and because your weight will be checked and you haven't eaten solid food in days you get a muffin which you eat only the top off of. Go to your appointment where they check your weight and your b/p - both are elevated. Doctor says you must be doing better your weight is up today and you think "no it's up because i am retaining water like the Grand Coolie Dam" but you let it go because why argue the point.... Get prescribed some new medication, have a discussion about mood and finally get out of there. Stop for monthly b12 injection on the way out - thank god that's over with for another month.

Walk in the rain back up the street to meet daughter and husband, buy dinner, get prescription filled, pick out library books. Cram onto the rush hour train with bags, once again dripping wet and miserable.

Finally make it home, get dinner going and feel glad that you made it through the day.

Until you go in the bathroom and realize that the one medication that you needed to get the refill for from your doctor is the one you didn't get.....

Sunny Summer Day

Just finished reading a great book - Julie and Julia about a woman who spends a year cooking every single recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking and blogging about it. It has aroused in me a desire to spend more time cooking at a time when our apartment becomes an inferno.

Today it's 80 degrees out and I have the a/c on for the first time. I didn't spend any time out on the deck this morning as I like to do choosing instead to read and listen to smooth jazz. It's been a great day for just rocking and reading.

Now I find myself with my mother's battered copy of Mastering The Art of French Cooking wondering if I should begin to cook from it myself. I love to cook, it calms and soothes me like nothing else can and french cuisine is comfort food. I know that I won't cook all the recipes (there are some things I just will not eat even though I am a hard core foodie) and I probably will go at it in my own manner and time but I think I could find some peace in spending the summer with some great food and wine.

Another Sunday - First of June

Last year at this time I was in Phoenix staying with friends. This year I am staying put here by the ocean and remembering a friend who has passed away.

What has changed this year?

Some things are different now - I am older, weaker but many good things stay the same - great place to live, many friends, family.

Today was a bright sunny day and I spent it out on the deck. I tanned, drank way too much iced coffee and relaxed. I read the paper for awhile but I find the news depresses me so I don't read very much. I am reading a book called Julie and Julia about a woman who spends a year cooking every recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I am enjoying this book.

Tonight I mixed up some shrimp salad that I stuffed into grilled hot dog rolls and cut up fresh strawberries that I ate with a slice of ricotta pie. The ricotta pie was my birthday cake this year.

A good day - I don't get many of these but today I will keep.

Sick Far From Home

I am sick again and it's hard doing this so far from home. Started with a kidney infection and fever a week ago. I started antibiotics and the fever continues to rise.

It's really hard being a guest in someone's home feeling like this and trying to be sociable.

I wish I could just ball up in bed and sleep until this passes.

Back in Phoenix

Back in Phoenix - Home from Hawaii. I had intended to post here from the ship but the internet was so awful that I was unable to do this.

The weather on the way to Hawaii was cloudy and cold. I spent alot of time in sweatshirt, socks and sitting out on the balcony wrapped in a blanket looking at the night sky. The stars while out at sea are the greatest thing in the world. I enjoyed the time out at sea.

We arrived in Hilo to sunny skies and warmth. I had a tour scheduled in the afternoon so I spent the time after arriving heading over to WalMart to get a few supplies (sunblock) and stopped briefly in a Hilo Hatties. Then I went on a tour of the island and to visit the Hawaiian Botanical Garden. This was an amazing way to spend the afternoon - climbing trails around waterfalls, orchids. I saw a mongoose, some macaws in an aviary and the most spectacular ocean view with a black sand beach. Just fantastic. I also saw the Liliuokalani Garden which is the largest Japanese Garden outside of Tokyo.

The next day was Kona and I spent the day in town, taking it slower and easier. I bought coffee and talked to Marty on the payphone for a long time. This is the island where I discovered that I really like Honey Roasted Macadamia Nuts and after going back to the ship to eat I got off again to buy more.

Wednesday we arrived in Kauai and I met Amy's sister Cathy who took us to an amazing place for breakfast. I had coconut pineapple pancakes with coconut syrup that I am still thinking about. After breakfast we drove up the coast and spent some time at a surfer's beach where I stood in the breaking waves - well away from any of the surfers. It was a great experience.

Thursday we arrived in Honolulu where I met Amy's other sister Melissa and her husband Geoff. Steve rented a car and after picking that up we headed to Chinatown for dim sum and some shopping. Afterwards we visited with Amy's family and headed out to dinner at the Outrigger Canoe Club in Waikiki. An amazing sunset and fabulous dinner of mahi-mahi - then it was time to head back to the ship. On the way I saw the Supreme Court and statue of King Kamemeha.

Friday was a beach day spent at Kaanapali Beach in Maui and some shopping for the necessary Elvis memorabilia for Miss E. I bought more coffee, more nuts and a dress. I took a shuttle to and from the beach and got a mini tour of the island by doing this. This was by far my favorite day.

There were 5 at sea days both ways and I spent the time by reading and watching some great movies. I ate alot but still managed not to gain any weight - even though I really tried. I enjoyed having a balcony for sailaways and night sky watching. I spent time in the Spa and the Casino (had alot of fun and some winnings).

It was an amazing trip and I have begun saving already to get there with Marty. It's going to take a few years but God Willing we will go together.

New Year's Eve

Good Morning from Phoenix - New Year's Eve. No plans here today - a quiet day ahead getting ready to leave for San Pedro tomorrow. I will call home at midnight to talk to Marty so we will be together for the New Year.

Reflecting on 2007 this morning and although I spent alot of time in the hospital this year (too much) it has been a very blessed year for us. I am grateful for my family and friends who have helped me through alot and my doctors have been the best support. I am proud of my daughter and married the best man for me. I have been able to travel with modifications and have learned to live within my limits. It's been a year of growth for me and I have been loved. Can't ask for more than that.

My goals for 2008 are minimal since I don't do well with resolutions. I am going to work on eating every single day and building up my strength if possible. I hope to stay out of the hospital more this year by doing my IV fluids as an outpatient and going in sooner when I am in a bad period. I am going to make a nice home for my husband and daughter, filled with laughter and love.

Now I am off to drink tea, read email, watch movies, cuddle with dogs and get ready for an awfully big adventure to Hawaii!